rexuality: realistic captions for selfies: i took 34 photos and this one looks the least shitty i tried really hard to take this at an angle where my arm didn’t look weird i photoshopped a pimple out of this photo and used the smudge tool for like 8 minutes i wish i had friends who took cute pictures of me so i wouldn’t be alone in my room for an hour trying to do this shit this is the best...
morristibbs: IF SOMEONE IS SCARED OF SPIDERS OR BUGS DONT FUCKING PICK ONE UP AND WALK TOWARDS THEM WITH IT YOU ARENT FUCKING FUNNY YOU’RE A GODDAMN ASSHOLE
bowlingforsoup: school would be so much better if you went to your classes via lazy river
thedramaticsneeze: hoshigumayuugi: i actually like being up early i just don’t like getting up early YOU PUT THIS IN WORDS
gamsee: my whole life is just “oh ok”
-annoying: who the hell decided that sean sounds like shawn
subtweet: more tattoo artists need to just say “nah dude, i’m not doing that”
galacticdad: when i was little i learned what schizophrenia was from TV and for a while i was really afraid because i thought i had it since i always heard my own voice in my head so finally i told a doctor and he informed me that what i was experiencing was called thinking.
tempoes: everyone says “just get out and leave everything behind in the event of a house fire” like no fuck that shit im grabbing every electronic i can hold
Naps are tricky because you either wake up refreshed and relaxed or you have a headache, dry throat, and are unaware of what year you’re in.
sunshineface0014: assbutt-in-the-garrison: I need my glasses to find my glasses do you see my problem You can’t even see your problem
hollyandthesunshine: You don’t know stress until you’ve tried to buy concert tickets as soon as they go on sale.
me during the summer: is today wednesday or sunday
biologytextbook: *presses clear button on calculator 12 times*
h0odrich: It’s not called cheating its called I need to pass this fuckin class
insert celebrity name here: i was bullied at school
cutieringtail: falmyrion: queerpong: “YOUR GAY” they shouted. “DUDE YOUR GAY!!!” i ignored them. it wasnt until i got home that i realized my gay had escaped. they tried to tell me. You’re*
nahlou: i express my emotions in long groans at different octaves
voldemortsblog: bloodandgutsinhighschool: cleargummibears: santahale: Robert Pattinson wins the “Most Likely To Be A Douchebag But Turned Out To Be A Pretty Cool Guy” Award. Cole Sprouse wins the “Seems To Be A Cool Guy But Turned Out To Be A Douchebag” Award Chris Brown wins the “Most Likely To Be A Douchebag But Turned Out To Be An Even Bigger Douchebag” Award. Leonardo DiCaprio...
chefboyardeezie: banjo-jeff: chefboyardeezie: when im rich the first thing im doing is getting laser hair removal on every inch of my body that isn’t my head you’ll look pretty funny without eyebrows im at least 3% sure that my eyebrows r on my head
On a scale from Will Smith to Amanda Bynes how much have you changed in the past 10 years
muggleland: the ceo of abercrombie and fitch has a lot of nerve saying that ugly people shouldn’t wear his clothes when he looks like a caucasian orc from the lord of the rings
fuckyeahharrystyles: harrysthefather: twerkwithnarry: I WAS ON TWITTER AND SAW THIS VINE IM NOT SURE WHY IM LAUGHING SO HARD IVE NEVER LAUGHED HARDER IN MY LIFE why is this so hilarious
ungothic: have you ever been so obsessed with something that it made you angry because you physically cannot shut the fuck up about it
marceddy: when people are really rude and douchey and everyone still loves them
vardaesque: vardaesque: MOM BROUGHT FIVE GUYS HOME IM SO EXCITED OH MY GOD clarification: five guys is a restaurant chain that specializes in gourmet burgers and fries i’m not having an orgy
inbroadwayvalley: thesummeroflike: aegisaglow: thesummeroflike: peewentz: are oranges named orange because they’re orange or is orange called orange because oranges are orange which came first: the orange or orange Orange was first used to refer to the fruit around 1300 but not used as a color word until around 1540. then what was the colour called before then there was no...
i-need-light-in-the-dark: broternia: i hate math tests because all throughout the chapter it’s like really easy shit and then you think you’ve got it and then the test is like if i throw a triangle out of a car and the car is going 20 mph and wind resistance is a thing that exists, how many cupcakes can pedro buy with one human soul I’ve never seen a more accurate post explaining math...
refleurs: carpe diem means buying some french fries when you really want them